Monday, December 7, 2015

Do They Add to You, Subtract From You, Multiply With You or Divide You?

Greetings y'all, I apologize for my absence. I've been keeping busy lately, stoking various fires with various irons on my constant journey of upgrading myself.  My time away has also given me plenty of time to think though, and one of those thoughts I'd like to share with y'all today is the importance of keeping your circle tight and not allowing yourself to become anchored by the problems of those around you.

If you're anything like me, then you know the feeling that everyone's relying on YOU to fix their situation.  If you're anything like me, you also know that those same people could care less about YOUR situation, long as theirs is taken care of.  I'm sure you don't mind helping out those you care about every now and then, just as I don't.  However, the problem starts when people begin to feel entitled to your assistance, like you're obligated to drop everything on a whim to accommodate them.  Eventually this kind of energy will begin to deplete you, until you not only decide to take control and only give your help when it's warranted and deserved, but also stand on that and make sure they respect it.  Otherwise they're just going to keep taking from you and taking from you until there's nothing left to take, because they can only do to you what YOU allow them to.

The first thing you must realize is that you need to do is drastically minimize the amount of people in your life who fit this description, and QUICKLY.  Granted some of them may be close family so you can't just write them off like you can others, but you know which people serve you no real purpose other than to try and keep you in the gutter with them, and those are the ones who need to immediately be purged from your system if you EVER expect to progress in this Game.



It's simple really; no, it really is.  There are four important questions you must ask yourself, and four separate categories in which you must place the people you interact with on a daily basis:

DO THEY ADD TO ME?

  • "In what way does this person's presence in my life improve the quality of it?"
  • "If I find myself in a jam, will I be able to count on this person?  How many times has he/she proven so in the past?"
  • "Does he/she encourage my growth and progress?"
  • "Although this person's growth may not be along the same lines as mine, is he/she at least showing SOME interest in upgrading his/her life and situation?"

Having these type of people around will certainly help you excel in this game, because they provide the kind of positive reinforcement that is extremely beneficial in all four aspect of the Game.  These people are genuinely interested in seeing you succeed, and will pull whatever strings they can to help you achieve it, without even asking for anything in return.  They're just happy knowing that someone they care about is good in life.  If you're having doubts about something, they're the ones you can count on to reassure you and help you regroup and refocus.  If you're looking for a job or trying to start a business, they send leads your way when they come across them to help make your legwork a little less stressful on you.  Not only do they want to see you win, they're trying to win as well; which in turn serves as motivation for you to keep striving for the win.  They're the ones you can kick it with outside of just partying and clubbing, the ones you can sit and have meaningful conversation with about topics of actual relevance.  You can rarely go wrong with people who add to you, so try and surround yourself with as many of them as possible.

DO THEY SUBTRACT FROM ME?

  • "Do I only hear from this person when he/she needs something?"
  • "Do I find myself constantly stressed out when interacting with this person?"
  • "Does this person only think of him/herself, with little to no regard for others?"
  • "Do I find myself taking more losses than normal dealing with this person?"

We ALL know them, so no need to go into too much description here.  Unfortunately, for some people this may be the ONLY type of people they have in their lives, which goes a long way in explaining why they find themselves stuck in one spot spinning their wheels.  These people are poison and will drain you of everything you have, both figuratively and literally.  Not only will they use you for every bit of money you may have (not to mention food, rides, etc.), but they'll also drain your energy by way of countless favors, treating you like their personal on-call psychiatrist, the list goes on and on.  You'll find yourself so wrapped up in THEIR problems that you rarely have time to tend to your own, which only compounds them.  When you begin your task of removing people from your life, THIS is the category to start with.  I guarantee, the difference in your peace of mind will be INSTANTLY noticeable.

DO THEY MULTIPLY WITH ME?

  • "Does this person promote what I'm doing to others, in order to help me succeed?"
  • "If this person has endeavors he/she knows I'd be interested in, does he/she make a point to contact me and pull me into the loop?"
  • "Does this person point me in the direction of learning materials related to things he/she knows I'm interested in doing?"
  • "If we embark on a venture together, does this person make sure I receive my fair share of whatever profits are made, and nothing less?  If more is made than expected, does he/she make sure I get my cut of that too?"

These people are very similar to the ones who add to your life, in the sense they want to see you succeed in what you do best.  The difference is, while the former type is more along the lines of support, encouragement and morale, the latter takes a more proactive approach.  These are the ones who go out and hit the campaign trail hard on your behalf, like "You need to check out [insert name here], I think he/she can really make good things happen for you."  In this category you'll find people who you can not only have meaningful conversation with, but also brainstorm ideas that can be lucrative for the both of you.  While paperwork is always a smart decision in any business dealing regardless of how well you feel you know or trust a person, with these people that paperwork is just a formality as you're confident beyond the shadow of a doubt that you don't have to worry about them getting over on you.  However, there's a subcategory in this on that consists of those whose only interest and involvement with you is on a business level, so be careful not to confuse them with those in the Addition category and believe they fully have your best interest in mind.  While they're always a beneficial type of have in your life, be prepared to cut them loose at a moment's notice if the situation requires it, if you feel as if they may about to throw you under the bus to save themselves or so they can get ahead.

DO THEY DIVIDE ME?

  • "Does this person try to dismiss my growth, and constantly try to pull me back into my old behavior and lines of thinking?"
  • "Does being around this person put me at a personal conflict of interest because their lifestyle completely contradicts everything I stand for and am trying to do?"
  • "Can I ever expect to get any further in life than I am now if I keep this person in it?
  • "Is this person a lost cause, with zero genuine interest whatsoever in upgrading his/her situation?"

This can be the toughest one right here, because it usually includes those who may be close to you and may be good people at heart, but for whatever reason they just can't get right or outright refuse to.  As a result, they end up becoming a potential hazard to everything you're working so hard to build and you're forced to act accordingly to prevent that from happening.  You may try to pull them in with you in an attempt to "save" them, but we all know the old saying about horses and water.  If their mindset isn't prepared for what you're offering, they'll not only self-destruct trying to take it on but also sabotage your thing, even if unintentionally.  As hard as it may be, you really have little choice but to distance yourself from the ones who fall in this category or become collateral damage of their bullshit.  That's not to say you have to cut them off completely, just keep them at arm's length whenever possible until they're able to get their minds right..and DEFINITELY don't bring them around your business dealings if you expect your prospects to take you seriously.  Otherwise, you risk all the work you put in going down the drain.

When you're out here trying to make things happen, you'll encounter many people who act like they're down for you and got your back.  Unfortunately, a good percentage of said people are doing just that, ACTING.  So if you're tired of feeling used and taken advantage of by them, you have to learn how to be able to distinguish between them and the ones you can legitimately count on.  Ask yourself these four simple questions and reaching the conclusion becomes as simple as 1+1.

#NowThatsGAME



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