Greetings
y'all, I apologize for my absence. I've been keeping busy lately, stoking
various fires with various irons on my constant journey of upgrading myself.
My time away has also given me plenty of time to think though, and one of
those thoughts I'd like to share with y'all today is the importance of keeping
your circle tight and not allowing yourself to become anchored by the problems
of those around you.
If
you're anything like me, then you know the feeling that everyone's relying on
YOU to fix their situation. If you're anything like me, you also know
that those same people could care less about YOUR situation, long as theirs is
taken care of. I'm sure you don't mind helping out those you care about
every now and then, just as I don't. However, the problem starts when
people begin to feel entitled to your assistance, like you're obligated to drop
everything on a whim to accommodate them. Eventually this kind of energy
will begin to deplete you, until you not only decide to take control and only give
your help when it's warranted and deserved, but also stand on that and make
sure they respect it. Otherwise they're just going to keep taking from
you and taking from you until there's nothing left to take, because they can
only do to you what YOU allow them to.
The
first thing you must realize is that you need to do is drastically minimize the
amount of people in your life who fit this description, and QUICKLY.
Granted some of them may be close family so you can't just write them off
like you can others, but you know which people serve you no real purpose other
than to try and keep you in the gutter with them, and those are the ones who
need to immediately be purged from your system if you EVER expect to progress
in this Game.
It's simple really; no, it really is. There are four
important questions you must ask yourself, and four separate categories in
which you must place the people you interact with on a daily basis:
DO THEY ADD TO ME?
- "In what way does this person's presence in my life improve the quality of it?"
- "If I find myself in a jam, will I be able to
count on this person? How many times has he/she proven so in the
past?"
- "Does he/she encourage my growth and
progress?"
- "Although this person's growth may not be along
the same lines as mine, is he/she at least showing SOME interest in upgrading
his/her life and situation?"
Having these type of people around will certainly help you excel
in this game, because they provide the kind of positive reinforcement that is
extremely beneficial in all four aspect of the Game. These people are
genuinely interested in seeing you succeed, and will pull whatever strings they
can to help you achieve it, without even asking for anything in return.
They're just happy knowing that someone they care about is good in life.
If you're having doubts about something, they're the ones you can count
on to reassure you and help you regroup and refocus. If you're looking
for a job or trying to start a business, they send leads your way when they
come across them to help make your legwork a little less stressful on you.
Not only do they want to see you win, they're trying to win as well;
which in turn serves as motivation for you to keep striving for the win.
They're the ones you can kick it with outside of just partying and
clubbing, the ones you can sit and have meaningful conversation with about
topics of actual relevance. You can rarely go wrong with people who add
to you, so try and surround yourself with as many of them as possible.
DO THEY SUBTRACT FROM ME?
- "Do I only hear from this person when he/she needs something?"
- "Do I find myself constantly stressed out when
interacting with this person?"
- "Does this person only think of him/herself, with
little to no regard for others?"
- "Do I find myself taking more losses than normal
dealing with this person?"
We ALL know them, so no need to go into too much description here.
Unfortunately, for some people this may be the ONLY type of people they
have in their lives, which goes a long way in explaining why they find
themselves stuck in one spot spinning their wheels. These people are
poison and will drain you of everything you have, both figuratively and
literally. Not only will they use you for every bit of money you may have
(not to mention food, rides, etc.), but they'll also drain your energy by way
of countless favors, treating you like their personal on-call psychiatrist, the
list goes on and on. You'll find yourself so wrapped up in THEIR problems
that you rarely have time to tend to your own, which only compounds them.
When you begin your task of removing people from your life, THIS is the
category to start with. I guarantee, the difference in your peace of mind
will be INSTANTLY noticeable.
DO THEY MULTIPLY WITH ME?
- "Does this person promote what I'm doing to others, in order to help me succeed?"
- "If this person has endeavors he/she knows I'd be
interested in, does he/she make a point to contact me and pull me into the
loop?"
- "Does this person point me in the direction of
learning materials related to things he/she knows I'm interested in
doing?"
- "If we embark on a venture together, does this
person make sure I receive my fair share of whatever profits are made, and
nothing less? If more is made than expected, does he/she make sure I
get my cut of that too?"
These people are very similar to the ones who add to your life, in
the sense they want to see you succeed in what you do best. The
difference is, while the former type is more along the lines of support,
encouragement and morale, the latter takes a more proactive approach.
These are the ones who go out and hit the campaign trail hard on your
behalf, like "You need to check out [insert name here], I think he/she can
really make good things happen for you." In this category you'll
find people who you can not only have meaningful conversation with, but also
brainstorm ideas that can be lucrative for the both of you. While
paperwork is always a smart decision in any business dealing regardless of how
well you feel you know or trust a person, with these people that paperwork is
just a formality as you're confident beyond the shadow of a doubt that you
don't have to worry about them getting over on you. However, there's a
subcategory in this on that consists of those whose only interest and
involvement with you is on a business level, so be careful not to confuse them
with those in the Addition category and believe they fully have your best
interest in mind. While they're always a beneficial type of have in your
life, be prepared to cut them loose at a moment's notice if the situation requires
it, if you feel as if they may about to throw you under the bus to save
themselves or so they can get ahead.
DO THEY DIVIDE ME?
- "Does this person try to dismiss my growth, and constantly try to pull me back into my old behavior and lines of thinking?"
- "Does being around this person put me at a
personal conflict of interest because their lifestyle completely
contradicts everything I stand for and am trying to do?"
- "Can I ever expect to get any further in life than
I am now if I keep this person in it?
- "Is this person a lost cause, with zero genuine
interest whatsoever in upgrading his/her situation?"
This can be the toughest one right here, because it usually
includes those who may be close to you and may be good people at heart, but for
whatever reason they just can't get right or outright refuse to. As a
result, they end up becoming a potential hazard to everything you're working so
hard to build and you're forced to act accordingly to prevent that from
happening. You may try to pull them in with you in an attempt to
"save" them, but we all know the old saying about horses and water.
If their mindset isn't prepared for what you're offering, they'll not
only self-destruct trying to take it on but also sabotage your thing, even if
unintentionally. As hard as it may be, you really have little choice but
to distance yourself from the ones who fall in this category or become
collateral damage of their bullshit. That's not to say you have to cut
them off completely, just keep them at arm's length whenever possible until
they're able to get their minds right..and DEFINITELY don't bring them around
your business dealings if you expect your prospects to take you seriously.
Otherwise, you risk all the work you put in going down the drain.
When
you're out here trying to make things happen, you'll encounter many people who
act like they're down for you and got your back. Unfortunately, a good
percentage of said people are doing just that, ACTING. So if you're tired
of feeling used and taken advantage of by them, you have to learn how to be
able to distinguish between them and the ones you can legitimately count on.
Ask yourself these four simple questions and reaching the conclusion
becomes as simple as 1+1.
#NowThatsGAME
